josh hutcherson making fun of himself for being short is my new fandom
It’s almost that time of the semester.
im at a hotel and the people in the room next to my room started having sex and i timed it and he only lasted for 54 seconds and i think they can hear me laughing now
UPDATE: they just banged on the wall and it only made me laugh harder because dude you can bang a wall but not your girlfriend
“This is the chemical formula for love:
dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin.
It can be easily manufactured in a lab, but overdosing on any of them can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.
Let that sink in.”
Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? Haha i did this with my life
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
She speaks her mind. If she’s unhappy, she says so. If she’s happy, she says so. She doesn’t take anyone’s bullsh*t – excuse my French. She’s so normal. She wins an Oscar and the first thing she does is put her finger up to the press. —Sam Claflin